I.
I saw your doppelgänger today.
She made me smile and reminded
Me of how happy you make me.
I wanted to hug her and
Tell her how much I cared about her,
But I opted for the real deal instead.
That's why I jumped on the trampoline with you,
That's why I sent you poetry in the middle of the night.
See, I always preferred having you
Over some carbon copy who
Can't speak like you or stroke my hair
As your soft fingers can.
I ignored your ghost because I had you in my arms.
II.
I saw your doppelgänger today.
She smiled at me a false set of teeth;
I can't know what she is hiding.
I thought that maybe we could fix this,
I thought we could move past the
Panhandling act I always seem
To make around you;
We believed ourselves to have the worst
Expectation, but reality is as cruel
As your doppelgänger is devious.
I can't help but be tripped up around her,
Because she is all I have left of you.
You left without a 'goodbye,' just a 'good luck.'
She stalks my every move, this doppelgänger,
To mock every failure and broken moment.
She's like the second-place trophy
That you only get because
They pity the loser.
Yet she won't come near me,
She is always far away.
She's always the memory that escapes me and
The far away person I can never catch up on time
Before I lose them.
The ones in parking lots
Or restaurants
Or bookstores.
III.
I saw your doppelgänger today.
There was a slight ringing in my ear,
I think someone yelled my name out
Once upon a time.
I am hollow,
You are spectral.
It is as if something were missing.
She told me once she wanted to
Kill you, so as to keep
Me all to herself.
She can't do it though;
She has no clue where you are.
Neither do I.
She hopes you'll come back one day; She knows
You are silk, and
I am grit.
You're the light that taps the morning dew,
I'm the groan right before open eyes.
You're the fist right before the fight,
I'm the silk sheet over a corpse.
You're the tree that never bends to the wind,
I'm the pitter-patter of a rainy afternoon.
You're the analogy of all my stories,
I'm the writer with the fleeting pages.
