Find Me

Sometimes I sit around,

Thinking you'll come and find me.

Xanax Dreams

All I could truly remember
Was almost stabbing a guy in 
The neck
And all the chili cheese fries I thought I ate.
Chemical imbalances in dirty bathrooms.
The room spun and before I knew it
I was at home, laying with her.
She was mad but she couldn't say "no" to cuddling.

Numb.

Xanax dreams have never felt so hubristic
Because she was there with me making
Excuses and cleaning my room.
All I was left to was mumbles,
She had to go home.
I woke up alone at midnight,
Drool on pillow,
Shame along with it.
The glory of tombstones
Was far from tantalizing.
I died for a few hours,
No one seemed to have noticed.

Suburban Scars

Raiding your mother's liquor cabinet.
Buying valium off the
Kids at school.
I wandered the streets,
Skated home at times,
Hoping to run into you.
Knife fights and
Books on radical politics
Never brought me closer.
I was always empty.

Untitled

I gave you a book so you could read

It, not put it away in a box.

I wanted you to read

So you could understand how

It all felt.

I think you're too proud to humor me

And perhaps think I do things

To piss you off.

I may frustrate you

But what do you want

Me to do when I love you so much.

Please forgive me for making you the most

Important person in my life.

These Phantom Vibrations are Getting Annoying

Pluck my phone from my pocket,

Due to the phantom vibrations.

An expectancy that everything will

Work out in the end; a promise

Shall become fulfilled and 

I will never worry about that

Loneliness which shivers my bones

On December midnights.

I never seem to get what I want

Yet could only use someone to talk to.

A sense of importance to someone tends

To be the focus of the month.

There is nothing more to speak of, you are

Closing the door in my face and turning off all the lights.

No more smiles at screens, we'll make this

Count for

Something much bigger than

The list of friends we put on 

Display for the world.

Throw my phone into the ocean,

I'm sick of phantom vibrations.

Bloody Nose Last Night

Yesterday, I spent my morning
Wiping all the blood off the floor.
They punched me in the face all night.
Now I know it's several of them.